Otis Can Still Move Them

The timing of my entrance into Starbucks this morning was impeccable. Otis Redding's Try a Little Tenderness was coming through the speakers. This fair-skinned, recent Catholic high school graduate - now a barista - was so sexily, yet barely perceptibly, gyrating her pelvis to the beat of the music, almost closing her eyes as she silently lip-synched the words.

"I wait for the entire CD, just to hear this song", she informed her not-nearly-as-delicious friend and fellow barista.

I was glad she waited.

Lady on a Bicycle

While I was driving back from McDonald's, there was a woman, twenty-something, in a waitress outfit, riding a bicycle alongside me as I headed south on Ridge Boulevard. It was one of those old school bicycles, the kind that women rode back when I was kid. I'm certain that it was older than her, probably twice her age. It even had a basket in the front, in which sat her pocketbook. Immediately, the image of Almira Gulch appeared in my mind, along with that infectious little theme song of hers. Oh, and she was smoking a cigarette. "I like your style, lady", I thought to myself. And I did. She kind of made my morning.

Until, that is, I got home and discovered that the woman at McD's gave me bacon. No steak. Bacon. A big greasy bagel with an egg, cheese, some sort of light yellow sauce, and two measly rashers of bacon. Serves me right for ordering in English, I guess.

Anyway, I'm onto lunch now. Two dogs with condiments from 7-11. And, of course, another stop at Starbucks. I know. You're thinking, "What does this guy do all day, just sit around at his computer eating various meat products and drinking coffee?". Well, you'd be wrong. I also smoke cigarettes. So there.

I wish I had said something to the smoking waitress. Maybe even just a thumb's up. Something to let her know that her rugged, individualist spirit did not go unappreciated. So help me god, if I ever drive alongside her again, I'm gonna honk my horn, smile, and give her the thumb's up. I'll report back here as to which finger she responds with.

Later.

Mornin'

Got my usual 2.5 hours sleep..awoke at 5:30 am...ish. Had a half hour to kill before Starbucks opens, which would be....now! I'd like to say I'll be back in 10 minutes or so, but I fear I'll be escalating the coffee run to include McD's. Something greasy. Something filling. Something awful. Something necessary: Steak, egg and cheese McBagel. Not the meal. Just the sandwich. I have no use for the Exxon Valdez-in-a-paper-sleeve hash browns, I have some orange juice here at home, and the coffee's already been taken care of. What the hell is wrong with McDonald's anyway? They have steak..steak!..and it's only available from 4 am till 11 am. It's the best goddamned thing on the menu! I don't know how they stay in business. Take the McRib. It was awesome. When's the last time you've seen it? I get angry just thinking about it.
This is my first post, on my very first blog. And it's 6 am. And my brain, such as it is, runs on caffeine. So, some slack-cutting is in order. Which is not to say it will get much better than this...
Speaking of cutting, I suppose I should crop down that cute little pic of me here at Lansman's Bungalow Colony at age nine (almost), lest one of the other miserable little campers takes umbrage and/or legal action. Heh, look at that counselor...she's checking me out! Anyway, I've been trying to figure out how to make that my profile pic, but sans coffee, it's been a futile effort so far. Maybe later. OK, I'm out of here. As if you care...pfft.